That's A Given

I've been given a lot of things

too many things,

some might say

things that have made my life easier

things that have been hard to get rid of

things that won't go away

even when the recycling has been emptied

and it's contents crushed by the jaws

of the shit stinking rubbish truck

that wakes me up

when I'd rather be asleep and dreaming

of things that never were.

There's a box on the bookshelf that I opened

against my better judgement

a four legged beast that just won't leave me

and hand written pages

long since incinerated

that I find myself flicking through

from time to time.

I'm giving a lot, these days.

Not giving of myself, don't be so abstract and quit thinking that this is about me and my stupid feelings.

It isn't.

It wasn't meant to be.

I'll just keep handing out

handfulls

of the disposables

while my neck burns a fashionable shade of maroon

from the glare off the blue plastic mats.

Now,

listen carefully,

I'm giving you a free shot here;

it hurts,

but it still feels good.